It’s not easy for me to go all “confessional” so early in my blog escapades, but it’s something worth mentioning.
I employ a Life Coach. There, I said it. Right now, I imagine that most people would see a life coach as some sort of guru or svengali, but it’s not really like that. I was deeply unhappy with the way I perceived my life panning out, or rather going down the pan. I wasn’t happy at work and I wasn’t happy with my life outside of work either. Looking back, it was the build up of years of not pursuing or having the energy to pursue my own personal interests. I felt unfulfilled. I’m not going to try and convey how I felt further, as it sounds overly dramatic. Suffice to say, I needed a bit of help sorting the wheat from the chaff in my life.
Luckily for me, a friend of a friend does life coaching and for a free trial session I thought it was worth a try. It was either that or going to the doctor for some prescription anti-depressants. As I sort of know the guy, it was quite a relaxed atmosphere and we did a simple comparison exercise of what my priorities were at that point in time, i.e. where I was expending my energy and what my ideal priority order would be. I’m sure you can guess the outcome. I had everything **se about *i*. So, the process was simple. I just needed to switch my priorities to my ideal.
That sounds pretty easy, but it was difficult and I’m still not there yet. But it was through doing this exercise, and others, that I could gain a picture of what I really want out of life. Incidentally, my top two things ideally are travelling and writing. Of course, it may turn out that when I start doing the travelling and writing that it turns out that it’s not what I want to do at all. This is the classic grass is greener syndrome. But I’m willing to take that chance.
So, I’ve worked out what I want to do, why aren’t I just doing it already and why am I persisting with the coaching?
To put it simply, I’m lazy. Well, not lazy as such. I allow myself to do other things that are right there in front of me rather than retain focus on future goals. This is where, under my own steam, I got all the way through university selection process – I got offered a place on a scriptwriting course at Bournemouth, if that means anything to you – only to bottle it at the last minute because it didn’t feel right. If I’d retained my focus, I’d be graduating this year. Everything happens for a reason and looking back on it now, I think the money that I would have spent taking me through university will be as good, if not better, to spend taking me round the world.
The coaching enables me to breakdown large long term goals into manageable tasks, so it doesn’t seem like such a big deal or as daunting. It also shows me that I am making progress, even if it’s baby steps towards my goals. I’ve learned a lot about how I motivate myself and I’m still learning more all the time. Eventually, I’d like to be able to trigger myself into action when appropriate and relax when I want to. These things seem to be quite random at the moment. All of the discussions I’ve had with my coach have helped me to look at myself and situations from a number of perspectives, which is interesting and enlightening.
I see it a bit like having golf lessons: I’ve had a few lessons, so I’m not great at golf at all, but I can recognise what I did wrong to make such a woeful shot. I think I’m now starting to recognise where I can put things right to ensure I don’t let weeks slide away without feeling I’ve made any progress or achieved anything.